10 Things I Want To Say To My Former Congregations

1. It was very hard to leave you

I get attached to people very quickly, and so the prospect of leaving a congregation of people I love was not something I could easily do. I remember my final service (joint service) at St. Andrew’s (Beeton) on May 26, 2002 as if it were yesterday. I remember blessing each child personally. I remember Fiona Allan’s solo, “Give Me Jesus”. I remember how the tears flowed freely. The same kind of emotion accompanied our departure from St. Giles Kingsway, but in this instance it felt as though our grief and tears began many months before the actual transition. In both cases, we left behind many individuals who were like family to us.

2. Don’t be afraid to fail

When I began as a pastor, at age 25, I was fiercely afraid of failure. I’ve since learned that the greatest ministry risks are often accompanied by the greatest ministry rewards. I’ve seen things that shouldn’t work succeed–because God was in them. We have been conditioned to plan and evaluate using worldly measurements, but often God’s math is different. And, even when an initiative does fail, I have always learned valuable lessons in the process, which made the attempt worthwhile.

3. I’m sorry

I’m reluctant to count all of the mistakes I’ve made in ministry, but one regret in particular stands out among the rest. Those who know me recognize that I hold my convictions firmly. My regret is that I think the manner in which I held, and articulated, some of those convictions offended, and even alienated, some of the church members I was charged with shepherding. I owed them more grace than I demonstrated. For that I am sincerely sorry.

4. Don’t sweat the small stuff

For whatever reason, congregational leadership has a natural drift toward things of secondary importance. “How many pies do we need for the bake sale?”, “What colour do we paint the nursery?”, “Who moved the piano?” are just a few of the common examples that jump out from my experience. The most unusual example of this emerged from a meeting with the president of the congregation’s women’s group, who called to say that we needed to talk about a “huge problem”. Turns out, the “huge problem” was that one of our adherents was drinking too much milk(!) on Sunday morning, which was threatening the congregation’s weekly milk supply. Most of the time the small stuff can be easily resolved without taxing the mission of the church, or the energy of other church members. Don’t major in the minors.

5. Cling to Jesus

If someone were to ask me the key to fruitful ministry, my immediate reply would be, “Cling to Jesus”. Jesus said as much, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing” (Jn. 15:5). My experience has confirmed this. My proximity to Jesus, and my dependence on Him, is the most important variable for how effectively I lead others as a pastor. Clinging to Jesus isn’t just for pastors, it is vitally necessary for every follower of Christ.

6. Plan ministry for those you haven’t yet reached

My earliest example of this was when I was given a tour of St. Andrew’s, Beeton. I had asked to see the nursery and was led to a room with no toys or books. Instead, the room was full of cabinets and boxes—basically “junk” that no one was quite sure what to do with. I asked why the room was in this condition and the answer I was given was, “We don’t have any babies here.” My reply was, “And we’ll never have any so long as the room remains in this condition.” I give the leaders of St. Andrew’s, Beeton, full marks—they not only cleaned out the room, but went on to renovate and create a larger space for children who had not yet come to us. In business, you sometimes hear people say, “Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” Similarly, I think congregations should “dress” for the role they want to play, not simply for the role they are already playing.

7. Forgive one another

An unwillingness to forgive another church member can be one of the most damaging things to the health of a local congregation. I have seen this too often. A congregation can be doing many things well–the preaching might be good, the music might be excellent, the Sunday School may be effectively ministering, but if members are at odds with one another it can undo the good being done elsewhere. Jesus never said, “They’ll know you are my disciples if you gather to hear an effective preacher.” He never said, “They’ll know you are my disciples by your music program, and by your children’s program.” No–Jesus said, “all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another” (Jn. 13:35). It is massively important, if someone in the church has offended you, or performed under your expectations, that you forgive them.

8. Resist the status quo

I don’t know what it is that causes congregations to want to keep doing things the same way, forever and ever, amen. In a world, where change is constant and sometimes rapid, there are a plethora of local congregations doing ministry exactly the same way as they did 20, 30, 50 years ago. This is a huge mistake. It has been said that the final words of a dying church are, “We’ve never done it that way before.” I’m not talking about changing the message/the gospel, but I am referring to the delivery of your ministry strategy. Try new things–as Paul put it, “become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some” (1Cor. 9:22).

9. Be generous toward those outside the church

During my first year in Nassau, the focus of the leadership was to improve what we were doing inside our walls. Our growth during that year was marginal. In year 2 and 3, we changed our focus and intentionally invested time, energy, and resources in those outside of our fellowship. Primarily, we invested in the local orphanage for teens, Ranfurly Homes, and in the neighboring community to the south of us, Bain & Grant’s Town. (I’ve written about one of the effects from that investment here.) Our congregation is currently growing far beyond our expectations. It is a counterintuitive, God-thing, that the more we invested outside the church, the more we grew inside the church.

10. I loved you more than you likely realize

I’m not an overly emotional person–at least not in public–and I’m not very adept at conveying to others how I feel about them. For this reason it is important that I take the opportunity within this post to tell you that “I love you”. More than you’ll likely ever realize. It was common for me to go through the church photo directory and to pray for each family, photo by photo. I resonate with Paul’s words to the Philippians, “God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:8). Being your pastor was never a job for me–it was my passion and my great delight. Thank you for the privilege of calling me, for a season, to be your pastor.

7 thoughts on “10 Things I Want To Say To My Former Congregations

  1. Now I am crying.. that was just lovely Bryn. I love your heart, I love your passion for others and I love your fierce determination to show Jesus to others. Thank you

  2. Beautifully put… your words flow as the instinctive love of a parent, just sharing with not only your own kids but with all the kids in the neighborhood, like we were sitting around a bond fire.
    I am always looking forward to seeing what you & your family are doing on Facebook, I take great pleasure in following you all … always inspired and touched…

    Thank you all for sharing your lives…

  3. You not only have the intuition to say what needs to be said, you have the grace to know when to say it! Thank you.

  4. Bryn and Allie

    We both miss you so much and if we were able to come to Nassau, we would in a heart beat.

    We are getting up there in age, Wayne just turned 81 last week and I will be 71 this fall. Please pray for us, you were very instrumental in turning us to Jesus back over 17 years ago, baptised us and we have not looked back. If this is your e-mail, please acknowledge us and maybe send us your address. Your little girl is not so little anymore and Allie is just as beautiful as we remember.

    You are both looking well and look happy. We pray that you stay safe and enjoy your life down in Nassau. Love you all.

    Marilyn

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