A Message to the Married and Unmarried
1Corinthians 7
The Reverend Bryn MacPhail / October 26, 2003
It was particularly difficult coming up with a sermon title for this morning’s text because of the wide range of topics that Paul addresses in this chapter. In 1Corinthians 7, Paul provides instruction for those who are married, and for those who are unmarried. He also addresses matters pertaining to divorce, being married to an unbeliever, and remarriage.
Yet, in addressing this wide range
of topics we should, by no means, regard Paul’s instruction in 1Corinthians 7
as an exhaustive treatment of topics relating to marriage. We must bear in mind
that Paul is responding to specific questions from the Corinthians on matters
of marriage and sexual ethics. We infer this because of the manner in which
Paul begins this section, “Now concerning the things about which you wrote”(7:1).
The Corinthians were divided on
their views of marriage and sexual ethics. Some, who were heavily influenced by
the pagan culture of the day, held very loose views about what was sexually
permissible. And others, in strong reaction against the sexual license of the
city, swung the pendulum to the other extreme by forbidding sexual relations
altogether—even within the context of marriage. As a result, there arose
confusion over whether Christians should even be married.
Paul, in this chapter, endeavours to
temper this ascetic extreme. Paul also addresses the challenges of remaining
single, and he outlines the challenges that face those who are married. And
thrown into the mix is Paul’s own testimony and personal preference, “I wish
that all were even as I myself am. However, each person has his own gift from
God, one in this manner, and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to
widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I” (7:7,8).
There is much we can gain from Paul’s instruction in
1Corinthians 7. Whether you are married or divorced, single or engaged; whether
you are a widow or a widower, there are principles in this passage for you to
readily apply.
And lest we regard these principles as optional, I
would like to present them to you as priorities, as I believe that Paul
regards these principles as priorities for the Christian.
The first priority I see in this passage is the
priority of the other person. This first priority is directed at those who
are married. Those Christians who had adopted an ascetic view of things had
apparently been neglecting the physical aspect of their marital relationship—in
some cases at the expense of a spouse that did not share these stringent views.
Paul’s reminds those who are married to prioritize the other person when he
writes, “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband
does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body,
but the wife does” (7:4).
As I think of the marital vows that are exchanged in a
wedding ceremony, I am reminded that the vows centre around what you promise to
provide and do for the other person. Marriage vows are not
self-centred, but they are other-centred. And, in my estimation, when our desire
to ‘get’ in a marriage relationship begins to overshadow our obligation
to ‘give’ we have crossed a dangerous line. To those who are married, Paul
returns our focus to the priority of the other person.
The second priority outlined by Paul
is the priority of prayer. On the heels of reminding the husband that he
is obligated to his wife, and the wife, likewise, that she is obligated to her
husband, Paul makes an exception. But even the exception is by mutual
agreement. Paul writes, “stop depriving one another, except by agreement for
a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer” (7:5). In other words, the
one exception to prioritizing the other person is the prioritization of God,
which, in a sense, trumps the other priority.
The principle here is that, in
the midst of our busy lives, we must all set aside time for prayer. The
married person, the person fulfilling obligations to a spouse and children,
needs to find time apart from those obligations to devote themselves to prayer.
For others, your primary obligation may be to your career, or caring for an
aging parent, or a combination of the above. Whatever activity, or activities,
require your constant attention, these activities need to be set aside, from
time to time, in order to give priority to prayer.
Our Lord Jesus Christ, a single man,
models this for us. In Matthew 14:22, we read that Jesus actually “sent the
multitudes away” in order that He might go up to the mountain to pray by
Himself (Mt. 14:23).
Now, I recognize that your obligations are important,
and I would not suggest that you neglect your responsibilities. Yet, we see in
Jesus’ example that there is no activity too important to be interrupted by
prayer. Jesus broke from the preeminent activity of preaching the gospel in
order that He might pray to His Heavenly Father.
Elsewhere we read that Jesus “went off to the
mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God” (Lk. 6:12).
Surely there were important things for Jesus to be doing. Surely there were
individuals who required Jesus’ attention, yet this did not prevent Jesus from
prioritizing prayer.
The third priority given by Paul is the priority of
permanence. To the unmarried, Paul recommends “it is good for them if
they remain even as I” (7:8), it is good to be single, yet Paul concedes
that it may be difficult for some to remain unmarried. Paul accounts for the
possibility that a person may be so positively predisposed to marrying that he
writes, “it is better to marry than to burn (with passion)” (7:9).
Paul also concedes that while his preference is to
remain single, the primary issue here is one of calling. In verse 17,
Paul writes, “as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each,
in this manner let him walk.” And in verse 20 we read, “Let each person
remain in that condition in which they were called.” The priority of
permanence then, follows the fulfillment of calling. If you are unmarried,
but sense that God has not called you to singleness, it is not necessary to
remain as you are.
The point the Paul stresses is that if you are called
by God to remain single, then remain single. If God has called you to be
married, so far as it depends on you, remain married.
I recently visited the Statistics Canada website and
found that, on average, there are 70,000 divorces in Canada each year. To put
that number in perspective, I should add that 150,000 weddings take place each
year. For every two weddings that take place in Canada, statistics show that
one of those marriages will end in divorce.
Paul, however, calls us to a higher
standard. He issues this command, “the wife should not leave her husband . .
. and the husband should not leave his wife” (7:10, 11).
As we read on in the passage, we see
that Paul is not the least bit naïve regarding the challenges of keeping a
marriage in tact, yet he insists on calling us to this higher standard. Paul
establishes for us the priority of permanence.
The fourth, and final, priority that
Paul establishes for us in this text is the priority of devotion to the Lord.
We see this priority in verses 32 through 35, “I want you to be free from
concern”, Paul writes, “One who is unmarried is concerned about the
things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but the one who is married is
concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his
interests are divided. And the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is
concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and
spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how
she may please her husband. And I say this for your benefit; not to put a
restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly, and to secure undistracted
devotion to the Lord.”
What Paul says here is likely
obvious to us all. The more responsibilities we have, the more difficult it is
for us to devote ourselves to the service of the Lord. I don’t think Paul is
being hard on married people here; I think he is simply reminding those who are
married of their particular challenges in “securing undistracted devotion to
the Lord”.
And I do not think Paul is letting
married people off the hook either. The sense is that Paul expects the same “undistracted
devotion to the Lord” from married folks as he does from unmarried folks.
But, in establishing this high standard for all, Paul articulates an
appreciation for a married person’s responsibility to his or her family.
Recognizing the fact that we have
competing loyalties—obligations to our Lord Jesus Christ, obligations to our
family, vocational responsibilities, and social obligations, the word
“priority” becomes an important word for us. Paul concedes that we will have
other obligations, but the key question is, ‘Which obligation will be our
highest priority?’
Mindful of our competing loyalties,
Paul does not hesitate to answer this question: “I am here to secure
your undistracted devotion to the Lord”, he says (7:35).
Does the Lord want you to be a
faithful husband/wife? Yes He does. Does the Lord want you to be an attentive
parent? Of course. Does the Lord want you to meet the demands of your vocation?
I am sure of it. But the question remains, ‘What comes first? What should be
our greatest priority?’
Our confession statement answers by
saying, ‘The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.’ And,
in a similar vein, our Lord teaches us, “Seek first His kingdom and His
righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Mt. 6:33).
God knows what your family needs; He
knows your vocational and social demands. And knowing this He says, “Seek first
My kingdom and My righteousness and I will make sure the rest gets looked
after.”
There is a way to honour the Lord that
will help you to honour your family. There is a way to honour the Lord that
will help you to honour your vocational and social commitments. But the reverse
is not necessarily true, and so Paul wants us to make no mistake about what
comes first—he establishes for us the priority of devotion to the
Lord.
The priority of the other person,
the priority of prayer, the priority of permanence, and the
priority of devotion to the Lord.
May the One who bought you with His
precious blood help you to make these priorities your own, to the glory of God.
Amen.